


Resolution

by DancingThroughTheRain



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingThroughTheRain/pseuds/DancingThroughTheRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of Killian's death, Emma isolates herself from her family. Snow and Charming come to the realization that they could have done more to help Emma while she was the Dark One, and Regina is blamed for Killian's death.<br/>A snowstorm helps to heal the wounds and strengthen their bonds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Canon until after the events of 5x11 and AU after that as the family does not go to the Underworld to rescue Killian.

Emma took in a shaky breath, shut her eyes, and plunged the reunited Excalibur into Killian’s stomach. Killian cried out in anguish as the blade pierced his skin, and Emma wrapped her free arm around his back, clutching him as if he were the only thing tethering her to the ground. She sobbed in agony as the life flowed out of his body. The couple pulled apart. As they did, there was a bright flash of light, signaling the departure of their Darkness once and for all. Emma pressed her left hand against Killian’s chest, willing him to stay with her, willing him not to leave like Graham, like Walsh, like Neal….

She wrenched the sword out of his body and watched as it disintegrated into a fine black dust before disappearing completely. Emma stared in horror as Killian’s gaping neck wound reappeared and wrapped her arms around him again as he began to collapse. Don’t leave me, No, Killian, Stay with me, Don’t go, Don’t leave me, Don’t leave me, Don’t leave me….She could feel the second his life left him, and she clutched him harder. Magic cannot bring back the dead…..

Everything that happened next was a blur; the people from the morgue, a truck, a gurney, Killian, Killian, Killian, a sheet….Emma grasped his hand because letting go of it meant letting go of him, and she couldn’t do that. Not yet. At some point, Snow wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and in that moment, she was the only thing holding Emma together, preventing her from shattering into a billion tiny pieces, shards of sharp, broken glass, broken heart. Killian’s hand slipped away, and Charming moved forward to support her. Emma fell into Snow’s embrace, resting her head on her shoulder and hearing her mother’s whisper of, “My Baby,”

The family stood there for what felt like forever. Henry and Regina stood several yards away, Regina’s arms still wrapped tightly around her son. She wished he didn’t have to see this. She wished Emma didn’t have to do this. At one time, all Regina had wanted was to make others feel the terrible pain that tore her own heart to shreds, but now it was the last thing she could possibly imagine wanting. Emma didn’t deserve this, not at all. Emma deserved her happy ending.

Snow and Charming had wrapped Emma in a tight embrace as she cried endlessly into Snow’s shoulders. It was obvious that Killian wasn’t the only one who died that night. A part of Emma had died with him, and they all mourned it. 

“Emma, it’s late,” Snow said quietly after a while, “Come home. Stay with us tonight.”

Emma silently shook her head, but kept it buried in Snow’s shoulder. 

Regina walked slowly up behind Emma, placed a hand on her upper back, and gently stroked her fingers along her shoulder. She, Snow, and Charming exchanged sympathetic looks and Emma continued to sob. 

“Emma, I’m sorry -“ Regina began quietly, but Emma suddenly lifted her head off Snow’s shoulder to glare at Regina. 

“SHUT UP!!!” Emma screamed. Snow, Charming, and Regina all jumped in shock, “You know NOTHING! You might think you know what it’s like to lose someone you love, but you have no idea how to handle it! We can’t all go on homicidal rampages and dig even deeper holes that constantly require us to be saved! Let me make myself absolutely clear, Regina. I’m done fixing your stupid problems. I’m done being your savior. My saving you was what caused this entire mess! If I’d only just let that Darkness take you, Killian would still be alive, and honestly, Regina, he deserves that a million times more than you. Saving you was the worst decision I’ve ever made, and I’ll regret it every day for the rest of my life.”

With that, Emma disappeared in a swirl of white smoke, leaving the rest of the family in dead silence. Snow stared into Regina’s hardened eyes, and as much as she tried to hide it, could see the deep pain swirling behind the mask of apathy. 

At last, Regina turned to Henry and said quietly, “It’s late. We should go home.” Henry stepped forward and silently took her hand as they walked back toward the street in the direction of the Mills’ mansion.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma arrived at her house. Their house. The house that she and Killian were supposed to share. She stared up at it, choked back a sob, and walked inside. She didn’t feel like going upstairs, so she collapsed on the couch in the living room and stared up at the ceiling.

All of the sadness and anger Emma had felt back at the lake had gone, leaving her heart tired and empty. Her eyes still burned with tears, but the numbness took over as she stared blankly at the white void of a ceiling.

Minutes passed, maybe even hours, but it was as though time had frozen altogether because what was time when you had no one to share it with? She’d spent 28 years of her life in solitude, but since then, she’d gotten so used to Mary Margaret’s hope speeches, Henry’s stories, Regina’s sarcasm, and Killian’s….

Killian. 

She’d gotten so used to having the company that she’d forgotten how it felt to be completely alone. 

She also must’ve forgotten to lock the front door because it suddenly swung open.

“Regina, go away. I already told you I want to be alone right now.” Emma said quietly.

“Well, you actually told her you wish she were dead, but I guess alone works too,” A lighter, calmer voice than she was expecting. Snow.

“Why are you here?” Emma asked in a monotone, her eyes still on the ceiling, “I thought I made it clear I wanted to be alone.”

“You don’t mean that, Emma.” Snow said quietly, perching on the edge of the couch beside her, “Shortly after we met, you told me something very similar. You told me you were better off alone, and two days later, you decided to move in with me. Those were some of the best months of my life, Emma, even if we were talking about things no mother and daughter should talk about.”

“Well, that’s great, but I’m really not in the mood. I want to be alone. If I promise to find you when I don’t, will you leave?”

Snow took Emma’s hand in both of her own, “Emma, I care about you, and I know you’re hurting. You shouldn’t have to go through that alone. I want to be here for you. Let me be your mother.”

Emma snorted, “That’s funny, ‘cause that’s not what you wanted two hours ago.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know, when you wanted to go to Granny’s to spend some time with your family before our imminent doom because there was nothing anyone could possibly do to stop it and hope was nothing anymore. I’m glad you at least have a better child now, one that isn’t all grown up, one you can raise to be your perfect little prince.”

“Neal? Emma, no. No one could ever replace you. I’m sorry I gave up hope tonight. I just-things were looking worse by the second, and it all happened so fast, and…I couldn’t find a way out.” Snow said apologetically.

“You didn’t just give up on hope. You gave up on me. You lost faith in me down in that vault because you thought that I couldn’t fix the situation now that I was the Dark One.”  
“What would you want me to do differently? Did you want me to stay and help? It didn’t seem like there was much I could do.”

“Take a page out of my book, hell, take a page out of Regina’s. There’s a way out of just about any situation. You just have to think hard enough to find it.” Emma took a deep breath, “After you left tonight, Regina came to me and I told her the only way to stop us from going to the Underworld was to take Excalibur and kill me, transfer the Darkness into me-“

“Emma, no. We couldn’t lose you.”

Emma ignored her and continued on, her voice hardening as more emotion creeped in, “to stop you all from going to the Underworld. The problem was that we didn’t have Excalibur, Gold did, so we went to his shop and picked it up. We were going to come meet you guys, but Regina didn’t like the idea of stabbing me and decided she was going to protect the town from Zelena in case we failed. She left, and I went home to write a letter to you guys explaining what I did, assuming Regina was still going to kill me, but Killian showed up and took Excalibur, and we were all poofed to that lake. Even then, as the boat was coming around the corner, Regina walked right up to Killian and helped him to see the light through all the Darkness, to see the man he really was and the man he wanted to be. She never gave up on me. Neither did Killian. But you know who did? You. Dad. The people who are supposed to have more faith in me than anyone else.”

“I’m sorry, Emma. We tried-“

“You didn’t.” Emma snapped, angry now, “Who helped me free Merlin back in Camelot? Regina and Henry. Who came to me almost immediately after we got back from Camelot? Henry, Regina, and Killian. Who tried to find out what I was up to so that they could help save me? Hmm, maybe Regina, Robin, Henry, Killian, and Belle. Who helped me get everyone’s memories back? Henry. Who spent all night doing everything they could to save this family from the Underworld? Regina. And where the hell were you? Oh, right, eating dinner at Granny’s and completely giving up on me.”

Snow looked absolutely stunned, “Emma….”

“Don’t Emma me. The thing I don’t understand is how you could leave me alone almost the whole time I was the Dark One without a second thought, yet you can’t leave me alone when I actually want to be alone. So, please just go.”

“I’m sorry,” Snow whispered, “Emma, if you need me, if you want me, please call. From now on, I’m going to do everything I can to fight for you.”

With that, Snow stood up slowly, searching Emma’s face for any sign that her presence was wanted or needed, but Emma’s eyes remained hard and blank, so Snow let herself out the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry and Regina walked the rest of the way back to the mansion in silence. As soon as they got inside, Henry headed straight upstairs. Of all the terrible things he’d seen, this had to be one of the worst. The only thing that could even come close was the time Mr. Gold had slashed his sword across Regina’s stomach when she jumped in front of him to save his life, but Henry had been able to undo Isaac’s book, and within seconds, Regina had woken up on the Storybrooke sidewalk, unharmed and healthy as ever. As he brushed his teeth, he almost wished he hadn’t snapped the quill, so maybe, just this once, he could re-write Emma and Killian’s story. Killian could wake up in the grass, and Emma would run over him, her sad, empty eyes filling with joy as she held him and kissed him like no tomorrow. But the quill was broken. None of that was going to happen. Killian was never coming back, and Emma’s tortured expression after she killed him would always be a reality. There was no changing it. 

He couldn’t even imagine what his mom, Emma, must be feeling right now, how much she must’ve been hurting inside to completely fall apart like that back at the lake. She’d always been so strong, so resilient, almost a superhero, and it killed him to see her so far down as she had been tonight.

He left the bathroom and headed back toward his room to get dressed. As he slipped on her pajama top, he caught sight of his wrist, of the spot where the mark had been just hours earlier. So much had changed in those few hours. For one, Emma had completely lost control in a way even Henry never knew she could. The way she’d screamed at Regina, how she’d told her that she never took care of her own problems, that she didn’t even deserve to live, that she wished she’d just left Regina to die-that absolutely infuriated Henry. He could so easily imagine Regina thinking those thoughts herself, maybe during long, dark, lonely nights or when she looked into the eyes of certain townspeople and could see the deep loathing and resentment that lay just below their civil demeanor. What made it all even worse was that none of it was true. If it had been anyone other than Emma shouting those terrible things at her after she’d only tried to help, he would have loved nothing more than to punch them in their stupid face, to beat them up with everything he had. But this was Emma….

He finished buttoning his shirt and looked down the hall toward Regina’s room. The room was filled with the soft glow of a lamp, so she must not have gone to bed yet. He headed down the hall and peeked quietly around the bedroom door. Regina was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, staring blankly down at some book that he was sure she was only holding for his benefit. He had a feeling that if he weren’t in the house or even if he were asleep, she’d just be staring at the wall or the ceiling, but why let him see her that way anymore than he absolutely had to?

“Mom?” he called softly, and Regina jumped out of her trance and met his eyes, “Is…is Emma going to be okay?”

“She will be, eventually. She…she did love him. Just give her time.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Going to be okay?”

“I’m fine, Henry.” She said, though her voice cracked as she said it, and a look into her eyes confirmed that it was a lie.

Henry climbed up on the bed next to her and squeezed her shoulders. Regina wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the book around him and tilted her head to kiss his upper cheek.

They were quiet for a few moments, until Henry asked, “So…Zelena…where’s she?”

“Oz.” Regina replied. At Henry’s confused look, she added, “I used the Apprentice’s wand to open a portal and send her back there, just in case we did end up being dragged to the Underworld.”

Henry’s eyes widened, “Mom, the last time you tried to use that wand, you couldn’t because you didn’t have enough darkness anymore. What did you-? Are you…are you turning evil again?” He searched her eyes fearfully, looking for any sign of the Evil Queen but seeing only his mother.

“I hope not. I don’t want that.” She replied, “I don’t ever want to be that person again.”

“Then how did you-?”

Regina took a deep breath, “Zelena came up to me tonight and she said that she’d made some changes to the custody arrangements with the baby. She wanted to raise her alone, and…and raise her to be wicked. She also wanted to run the town, and based on her last stunts with Arthur and showing Hook that dreamcatcher, I couldn’t imagine that working out well. Henry, you know from the book that Rumple wanted me to cast the curse so that he could find his son, your father, and my mother wanted…well, let’s just say some of the beliefs she raised me with were disturbing to me at the time.”

“They raised you to be wicked…” Henry muttered, the realization dawning on him.

“Exactly, and I couldn’t let that happen to this baby. Zelena had to go. Between everything with Killian and her saying that, it reminded me of a very dark time in my life, and I drew that memory of the darkness out and put it into the wand.”

“But you aren’t going to do that anymore?” Henry said, staring into her eyes for confirmation.

“No. You know I only use those parts to try and help now, and I don’t want to go back to where I was. Being evil again would mean losing you, losing Robin, losing Em-losing myself again and evil, revenge, those things… they don’t even come close to what you’re worth to me.”


	4. Chapter 4

Rays of gray winter sunlight shone through Emma’s bedroom curtains on the day of the funeral, waking her from an uneasy sleep. She attempted to let out a humorless chuckle at the irony of it all, but it was almost immediately squashed into a sob by that tightness in her throat that wouldn’t go away. None of this should even be happening. Killian should be right here, next to her, not….

Emma stared at the clock on her nightstand as the minutes ticked by, knowing that she should get out of bed but not having any reason or energy to move. Why get up now only to hurt more at the funeral? She couldn’t answer her own question, so instead, she watched the clock, allowing the boxy, green numbers to mesmerize her into the numbness that had been consuming her ever since the night at the lake. 

The doorbell chimed, startling Emma out of her trance, but she stayed in bed. Whoever it was could wait. The doorbell rang again just moments later, and despite ignoring it, Emma still rolled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom.

She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying, her usually neat blonde hair was a mess, and her skin had a somewhat sickly pallor to it from spending days in bed, eating little, and going days without a shower. She couldn’t let the town, much less her family, much less Henry, see her like this. She was the Savior, but she didn’t feel like one and certainly didn’t look like one. What would they think if they saw her now?

She turned the shower water temperature up so high that it scalded her skin and stepped in, allowing the hot water to roll down her body and wash away some of the pain. After she was done, she wrapped a towel around herself, and set to work fixing her hair. The silence slowly became suffocating, so she reached for her phone to turn on some music. Looking at it, she saw that there were 5 missed calls from her parents, 1 missed call from Regina, and 1 missed call from Henry. The only name missing was Killian’s. Sighing painfully, she ignored the list and found some loud music that she cranked up so high that she could barely think. After her hair had been drawn into a soft, pretty bun in contrast to the one she had work when she was the Dark One, she zipped on her dress and started on her makeup. Her phone rang again, the name Snow White flashing across the screen. This time, Emma pressed pause on her music and slid the button to take the call.

“Hello?” She asked, surprised at the hoarseness of her voice.

“Emma, are you alright? We came by earlier, but you didn’t answer the door.” Snow said gently.

“I’m fine,” Emma muttered, “I’m just…getting ready.”

“So are we. Do you want to talk?”

Emma hesitated. Maybe talking, or rather, listening to Snow talk, would take her mind of Killian. A glance at the clock told her that was pointless. In an hour, everyone in town would want to talk to her, compliment her, and express their condolences. She might as well bask in the silence now while it was available.

“No.” Emma said, hoping Snow wasn’t going to press the matter.

Snow was silent for a moment, then said, “Alright, but Emma, please know that if you do want to talk, I’m here. We’re here, and we aren’t going to leave you again.”

“’Kay,” Emma muttered numbly. Her voice cracked, and she had to clear her throat before continuing, “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

“We’ll be there. If you need anything, please, please let me know. We love you, Emma.”

“I love you too,” Emma said, “See you…later.”

“Alright. We’ll be there for you, Emma.”

Emma hung up the phone, and the music resumed, drowning out her pain once again.

When it was time to go, Emma climbed into her bug and drove toward the funeral, which was being held in almost the same place that Neal’s funeral had been held just months earlier. Sooner or later, she was just going to have to accept the fact that she, Emma Swan, was the bad luck charm to end all bad luck charms of dating. 

She wasn’t nearly the first to arrive at the funeral, but somehow, probably due to her yellow car, her parents found her almost immediately and wrapped her in an embrace. Slowly, they migrated toward the front row of the crowd where Killian’s coffin waited to be lowered into the ground. Emma choked back a sob at the sight of it, using every bit of energy in her to keep from crying. 

The passage of time was still so strange and confusing to her, but at some point, Henry shoved his way through the crowd and appeared at her side. He touched her arm in a very Regina-like way and looked sympathetically into her eyes, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

Emma pressed her lips together, “Me too, Kid” she whispered, drawing Henry into a hug with her lips pressed against his hair. 

Mother Superior had made her way to the front of the crowd and was facing them, saying kind, empty words about Killian in a magically amplified voice. He will be missed. He was a good, brave man. He changed our lives. He died a hero. 

It was all true, of course, but coming from the Blue Fairy who had never actually known or appreciated Killian, they sounded like lies that ignited a fire deep down in Emma’s gut.   
When the time came to drop shovelfuls of dirt on the grave, Emma shifted to the back of the group, her family right behind her. She wasn’t ready to let him go just yet. As they moved forward, she caught sight of Regina somewhere up in the middle of the group, and for a moment, their eyes met. Some part of Emma desperately wanted to talk to her, wanted to apologize for what she’d said that night at the lake, wanted to open her arms to Regina in the hopes that she would be her friend again, but right now, Emma was so emotionally fragile that any apology could quickly crumble into tears or screaming. Worse, fixing things with Regina would mean letting her in, a person who knew exactly how she felt. Emma’s walls may have slowly deteriorated over the years, but that didn’t mean she was ready to let Regina see this new, gaping wound. For now, she hid behind fortress walls, protecting her and everyone around her as a storm of pain raged within her.

The group shifted forward more, and Regina continued to watch her as if waiting for any sign that she was welcome, but Emma turned away and could only assume that Regina had done the same. 

When she, Henry, and her parents arrived at the grave, Emma hung back. She let her father, Henry, and finally, her mother, drop their shovelfuls of dirt on the coffin. Snow glanced at her when she was done, then stepped back several feet to provide Emma with privacy to say goodbye. 

She stared down at the grave, a scene that had haunted her nightmares ever since she and Killian had begun dating. The shovel felt cold and empty in her hands until finally, she scooped up some dirt and watched it fall on the coffin as if in slow motion. She pressed her lips together as the silent tears streamed down her face.

“Goodbye, Killian,” she sobbed. He wasn’t the only one being buried today. A part of her heart lay in the coffin with him, buried beneath the dirt and never to be seen again.


	5. Chapter 5

Snow stepped back a few feet away from Emma, wanting to give her privacy. She watched for a moment as silent tears streamed down Emma’s face, her heart breaking at the sight of them, then turned away. In her periphery, Snow saw Regina standing near the edge of the group, her hands clasped in front of her body. Regina. Regina would know how to help Emma. She would be able to connect with her in a way that Snow couldn’t, in a way that she could hardly imagine having only seen Charming dead for a few minutes before begging Regina to tear her heart out and split it between the two of them.

Snow walked over to Regina and stood so close to her that only she would be able to hear what she said. 

“Regina, please,” Snow whispered, “Help her.”

Regina bit her lip and pulled her arms more tightly around her body, “If my memory serves, she made it very clear she wants nothing from me.”

“You know she didn’t mean that, Regina. She’s like you. When she’s hurting, she builds up walls and pushes people away, but that doesn’t mean she wants to go through this alone. She said the same thing to David and me last night.”

“She told you she wished you’d died?” Regina asked quietly. She glanced down, sniffed, and shook her head, “I doubt that.”

“She told us we failed her-"

“Join the club.”

“-And that we had lost faith in her and given up on her. I’m starting to see that it’s true.”

Regina stared at the woods in silence, her face hardened, but she didn’t say anything to indicate disagreement.

“But, Regina, do you know who she said never gave up on her and always stood by her through the Darkness? Who she wanted me to be more like? Killian and you. Now, he’s gone, and she trusts you. She’s grateful for you, and she’s hurting right now. Don’t let her push you away.”

“There’s a difference between pushing someone away and telling them they don’t deserve to live.”

“Which you did to me for years back in the Enchanted Forest, but I never gave up on you. I think, deep down inside, there’s a part of you that never gave up on me either. Otherwise, I would be dead a thousand times over by now.”

“That, you would be.”

“So try. Talk to Emma. My daughter needs you, Regina.” 

Snow glanced back toward Emma, who was still standing over Killian’s grave in tears with her eyes locked on the coffin. Snow walked back over and put a comforting hand around Emma’s shoulders as Regina followed tentatively behind her. Emma stared down at the coffin a few moments longer before allowing Snow to lead her away toward the rest of the family. They stood in silence for what felt like hours. Every so often, Snow glanced behind her at Regina, watching her former stepmother stare deep into the forest. 

Most of the funeral crowd had gone home, leaving Emma and her family among the few groups still present. The cold, wintry sunshine had faded to a more fitting dark, thick gray, a sure sign that a snowstorm was coming. When the first flakes began to fall, Emma muttered something about heading home, and began walking toward her yellow bug, Snow and Charming close behind her while Regina and Henry followed them. 

“Do you want us to come back with you?” Snow asked.

“Neal’s still with the fairies. We can stay with you as long as you want, Emma.” Charming added.

Emma shook her head, “It’s alright. I want to be alone. You guys probably have stuff to do anyway.”

“We really-"

“I’m better off alone.” She quickened her pace toward her bug.

Snow and Charming exchanged a glance then headed back toward their truck, watching Emma carefully for any sign that she wanted their company, but they saw none. At last, they got into their truck and drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

The distance between Regina, Henry, and Emma had increased during Emma’s conversation with her parents as Regina had wanted to give them privacy, and Henry, she assumed, hadn’t wanted to leave her alone. Despite the distance, Regina could still hear as Emma told her mother she was better off alone. If the situation hadn’t been so grave, Regina might’ve made a comment about how they had literally just been through this, how Emma had shut them all out as she tried to vanquish the Darkness and saw, in hindsight, that it was an incredibly stupid thing to do. She watched as Snow and Charming’s truck pulled away, and when they were a good distance down the road, quickened her pace toward Emma. 

“Emma, wait,” she called as Emma bent down to duck into her bug.

Emma looked around at Regina and gave her a hard look, “Go away, Regina.”

Regina took a deep breath, “You don’t mean that. Emma, your walls are coming right back up, and—"

“Really?” asked Emma, “Now you care about what happens to me?”

“I know, Emma, I-“ Regina sucked in a deep breath, “I know you don’t want me around, and I know this hurts, but it’ll feel better if you don’t have to go through it alone.”

“How would you know?” Emma spat bitterly, wrenching her arm away, “You can’t help me, you aren’t going to help me, so why try? The one person I want to see right now is right over there, under that fresh mound of dirt, thanks to you. If I hadn’t saved you, I’d have him right now, so what makes you think I’d want you anywhere near me right now?”

“I thought you could use a friend.” 

“You’re not my friend,” Emma muttered, and with that, she slammed the car door and locked Regina out. She turned the key in the ignition and drove away, leaving Regina to stand alone in the worsening snow storm.

Regina drew her arms tightly around her stomach and watched as the car disappeared into the cloud of gray and white. She bit down on her bottom lip and swallowed hard in an attempt to get rid of the lump in her throat, but it didn’t help and certainly did nothing to stop the hot tears that welled in her eyes, threatening at any second to escape and roll down her face for the world to see. 

“Mom?” 

Hearing the voice behind her, she startled and turned around, casually wiping one of the escaped tears off her face with her glove. 

“Henry,” she said, pulling him into a hug, “I’m sorry, you’re probably cold.”

“I heard that, you know.” Henry said, ignoring her and squeezing her tighter, “But it’s not true, and she doesn’t mean it. She’s pushing us away again.”

“I know,” Regina said, giving Henry one final squeeze before breaking the hug and leading him back toward her car, “But she’s going to be okay, Henry. It’ll take time, but I promise you, she will be okay.”

Henry sighed in frustration, “I want to help her. I wish we could help her. We need to come up with something-Operation Emma.”

Regina smiled weakly, “Right now, she just needs time.”


	7. Chapter 7

As Emma drove away, she felt a tightness in her chest and knew it wasn’t just because of Killian anymore. She hadn’t meant what she’d said to Regina, hell, she could barely believe she’d said most of it. A good bit of it wasn’t even true. So why had she said it at all? As much as she hated to admit it, some of the negative habits that had been enhanced by her Darkness still remained, one of them being her habit of lashing out at people who came too close, people who understood her more than she was comfortable being understood. Unfortunately, the people who were coming too close just so happened to be her parents, and especially Regina. She didn’t want to push them away, she just…did.   
If he were here, Killian would never have allowed himself to be pushed away. He would’ve smashed through her walls, found the truth, and led her back towards the light. He would never have-no. That wasn’t right. When they’d arrived back in Storybrooke with her as the Dark One, she hadn’t let Killian in any more than she’d let in Henry, much less her parents or Regina. He was persistent, sure, especially when he jumped off the library roof and demanded answers from her. He’d received them too, just not in the way she would have preferred. Regina and Henry, though, hadn’t been any less persistent. Henry had come up to her three times, trying to connect with her and find out what was going on. Regina had also come up to her three times, demanding to know what had happened back in Camelot and what she was trying to do now. She’d even gone as far as to break into Emma’s house while she was away and had gone to Emma’s house in the middle of that terrible night, ready to fight for her sister’s life. Killian hadn’t been any more persistent than Regina. Oh well. People always looked more beautiful in death. 

She drove the rest of the way home on autopilot despite the worsening snowstorm. She was so used to living in a car and driving in all sorts of weather that it didn’t bother her anymore. By the time she pulled into her driveway, the snow nearly coated the ground and there was a bitter chill in the air that hadn’t been there during the funeral. 

The cold wind nipped at her nose as she stepped out of the car and almost numbed some of the pain freshly tearing through her heart. It crossed her mind to stay outside in the blizzard, but her common sense and knowledge that Snow would most likely drive by her house a few times despite the blizzard overruled her. She went inside, shut the door, and stood still for a moment as the now-familiar empty feeling overtook her, the feeling in her gut that reminded her that this was supposed to be their house, their future, their happy ending…

Emma shook her head to clear the thoughts away and flopped down on the couch, one of the two places she’d spent the majority of the last few days. She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, but soon, the silence became deafening. She reached for the remote next to her on the couch and turned on her TV to a brunette reporter with heavy makeup gesturing to the snow storm behind her. The reporter’s words began to run together, and Emma had to struggle to focus on her rather than the black hole of grief that threatened to swallow her at any second.

Her phone buzzed where she’d left it on the table to alert her of a new text message. It was probably Snow, asking Emma if she was okay, if there was anything she could do, if she wanted anything for the thousandth time in the last few days. She ignored it and continued to stare at the TV, which now broadcast an older weather man in front of a large map, showing the huge storm moving toward them from the North Atlantic coast.

Every few minutes her phone buzzed until Emma was finally so annoyed by it that she picked it up and unlocked it before Snow started freaking out enough to actually drive over to her house. 

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she picked up the phone. The texts were from Henry, not Snow, and she’d been ignoring him for nearly an hour.

Henry 5:23pm: Hey

Henry 5:25pm: Hey

Henry 5:28pm: Mom, are you okay?

2 missed calls from Henry

Henry 5:33pm: You can give up on yourself, Mom, but we’re never going to give up on you.

Henry 5:35pm: That’s what family’s for. That’s what I’m for.

1 missed call from Henry

Henry 5:40pm: Did you make it home? Please tell me you did. We’re supposed to get a foot of snow tonight!

Henry 5:42pm: Do you want to do something in the snow tomorrow?

Henry 5:47pm: Or maybe tonight? I could come over and we can have hot chocolate with cinnamon.

Henry 5:50pm: We could watch a movie too. Or play a game. Or bake some cookies.

Henry 5:53pm: Please, Mom? It’ll help.

Henry 5:57pm: Are you okay?

Henry 5:59pm: Mom, I’m worried about you. Please text me back.

Henry 6:00pm: Mom, please.

2 missed calls from Henry

Henry 6:08pm: Mom and I are going to watch a movie tonight. You’re welcome to watch with us.

Henry 6:11pm: Please call me. I love you-we love you-and we want to help you. If you let me come over, we can have a snowstorm party.

2 missed calls from Henry

As Emma scrolled through the list, a lump formed in her throat, and she had to fight back tears. A snow storm party did sound nice, but…it felt wrong. Killian had just died. How could they celebrate and be happy? How could she?


	8. Chapter 8

Henry set his phone down on the coffee table. Regina sat at the other end of the couch, reading a book with her legs curled up under her. That was something she’d been doing a lot over the last few days, but considering she’d barely made it through a single book, it seemed to be more of an excuse for her to be still and silent without him worrying.

“Mom, can I go to Emma’s?” he asked suddenly.

At the wrong moment, thunder crashed in the sky and Regina jumped and looked anxiously toward the window, watching as the snow poured thickly from the dark sky.

“Why?” she asked, “Is something wrong?”

“I’ve been trying to text her for almost an hour and she won’t answer.”

“She could just be taking a nap. She’s had a long day, Henry.”

“She never ignores me, no matter what, and she’d wake up if she were taking a nap. She always puts her phone on her nightstand when she sleeps. What if something happened to her?”

Regina sighed and moved closer to Henry, taking his hand in her own, “Henry, she knows how to take care of herself. That doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for her to do, but she’s doing it. Give her time. She’ll probably text you back later tonight or tomorrow morning. It’ll be alright.”

She smiled sympathetically before giving his hand a squeeze and staring back down at her book.

 

Moments later, Henry’s phone rang and the name Emma Swan flashed across the screen.

“That her?” Regina asked.

“Yeah!” Henry pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear, “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, Kid. Sorry about not answering your texts. I was watching the news.”

“It’s fine, I’m just glad you answered. Can you believe we’re getting over a foot of snow? The weatherman called it the worst snowstorm we’ve had in years.”

“Yeah, Kid, that’s cool. Maybe you can go sledding tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that would be fun. Especially if you came with me. Speaking of that, what do you think about me coming over tonight?”

“I don’t know, Kid…”

“Please? It’ll help. We’ll have hot chocolate with cinnamon, play some games, bake some cookies…. It’ll be fun.”

Emma was quiet for a moment, and he could almost hear her considering it, “Sure, Kid, I guess. Maybe for a few hours.”

“Great! Hey, can my mom come too?”

“Uhhh…about that, can I talk to her for a second?” At Henry’s silence, she added, “I won’t say anything mean, I promise. I actually need to apologize to her.”

“Sure, okay,” Henry said. He took the phone away from his ear, “Mom,” he hissed, “She wants to talk to you.”

Regina blinked and looked slightly surprised for a second before reaching her hand out for the phone.


	9. Chapter 9

Emma took a deep breath in the brief second it took Henry to give Regina the phone. She wasn’t angry anymore, just emotionally drained, so she had no concerns about saying more things she didn’t mean, but what if Regina didn’t want to forgive her? She knew that Regina had come a long way since those rocky few days between them when Emma had brought back Marian and that Regina had still been willing to stand by her, even after she told Regina to go sacrifice herself and used her memories in the plan to break Henry’s heart, but maybe that had just been a sort of thank-you gift for sacrificing herself. What if this time she had gone too far?

“Hello?”

“Regina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I was just-I was in shock, I was angry, I was hurting, and I blamed things on you when I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Emma said.  
There was a long stretch of silence on the other line, so long that Emma wondered if Regina had just hung up on her. Was she really that angry?

“No.” Regina said finally.

“What?” 

“You meant it. You meant what you said to me, and it has nothing to do with you having some angry outburst. If that were true, you would have been angry at everyone and you wouldn’t have repeated it later. You can’t lie to me, Emma Swan.” Regina said quietly.

“Okay, yeah, I guess when you get right down to it, I meant it a little bit. If I’d let you die, Killian would probably still be alive, but guess what? I can apply the same damn logic to Gold, or to Mom, or to Zelena, or to Killian himself, or, hell, even to myself. If the stupid Darkness hadn’t built up in Gold in the first place, if Mom hadn’t fallen for Zelena’s tricks, if Zelena hadn’t joined up with King Arthur, if Killian hadn’t saved me, if I had opened myself up more about what I was feeling and thinking, Killian might also still be here. There was a chain of events that led to his death, and it isn’t fair to just blame you.”

“That’s why you’re apologizing? You’re trying to assuage your guilt for being unfair?” Regina said defensively. 

“No, Regina.” God, why did she have to jump to the most negative and selfish explanation? That wasn’t where Emma was going with this. “I’m apologizing to you because I want to fix this, because you’re my friend, and because I don’t want you to hurt.”

“I’m your friend?” Regina asked, letting out a humorless laugh, “That’s interesting, because about 2 hours ago, you told me I wasn’t your friend. Oh, and earlier this week when you told me you’d always regret not leaving me to the fate I really deserve.”

“Regina, listen. That’s the part I didn’t mean. You know we’re friends, and I don’t know about you, but you’re actually my best friend, and you do not deserve to die. You deserve love, and family, and friendship, and a happy ending because you’ve been kicked down by life so many times, and for a while, you let that consume you, but then you changed and you worked so hard to become who you are now that you deserve it all.” Emma took a deep breath, and, thankfully, Regina stayed quiet and didn’t interrupt, “I don’t regret saving you, Regina. Actually, losing you would kill me inside just as much. Probably even more because Henry wouldn’t be able to live without you either.”

Regina remained silent, causing one of those long, awkward silences that made Emma uncomfortable. She almost wanted to ask a question or do something else to get Regina to talk, but she bit her tongue. If Regina was being quiet, that meant she was listening to Emma and letting her in. That was certainly better than the sharp, snarky remarks she’d been half-expecting.

At last, Regina spoke, “I was going to help you, you know. I didn’t know how, but I was going to try.”

“I know. That’s actually part of why I yelled at you. I didn’t want anyone around, but especially not you because you were going to get way too close.”

“Because I understand-”

“Exactly! Usually, that’s awesome because you just get it, but I didn’t want you to get it this time because everything hurt so much and I just wanted to let it hurt.”

“And you thought that hurting someone else would make you feel better inside?”

“Sort of…I don’t know. I was actually going to fix things with you at the funeral today, but then I was afraid that if I did that you would insist on babysitting me or something. I didn’t actually want to yell at you again. It just kind of…came out.”

“If that was how you felt, you could have just told me that. I was going to help you in whatever way I could, and if that meant staying away, I would have done it. Have I ever been one to crowd you, Miss Swan?”

“No.” And she meant it, too. The only times Regina had ever come anywhere close to crowding her were when Emma’s soul was on the line, like when she’d gone on that road trip to track down Lily or had been tempted to hold onto her Darkness, but that wasn’t crowding her. It was trying to protect her. 

“Then what would be different now?”

“I don’t know. Regina, if I could, I would take back everything I said. There’s no excuse for it, and I really am sorry.”

“Thank you, Emma.”

They were silent again for a few moments until Emma spoke.

“Henry wants to come over to my house during the snow storm.” She began awkwardly.

“So I heard. Is that what you want, Emma?”

“Yeah, I’ll give it a shot. It might help to bake some cookies or watch a movie or something.” Emma took a deep breath, “You should come too. It would be really nice to have you there.”

Emma could almost hear Regina raising her eyebrow through the phone, so she continued, “Regina, if Henry and I try to bake cookies, we’ll probably burn down the house which would really suck because it’s new. Besides…I need my best friend.”

There was another pause, but not as long as the previous ones.

“What time were you thinking?” Regina asked.

“Soon.”


	10. Chapter 10

The doorbell of Emma’s house chimed earlier than she thought it would, but luckily, Emma had been able to change out of her funeral dress, wash the sticky, dried tears off her face, and put on what she thought might be enough makeup to keep Henry from worrying too much . The poor kid had already seen enough of her grief.

She pulled open the door to see Henry and Regina standing on her porch in the ongoing blizzard, snowflakes dotting their dark hair like stars in the night sky. 

“Mom,” Henry breathed, crossing the threshold and throwing himself into her arms. Emma leaned into his embrace and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. She glanced up and saw Regina standing alone just inside her foyer and held out an arm as an invitation to join the hug, but Regina turned away, shut the door, and began slipping off her coat, so Emma wrapped both her arms around Henry again and gave his shoulders one last squeeze before letting him go. 

“What do you want to do, Mom? We can watch a movie, play a game, bake some cookies….We also brought cocoa, if you want some. I hope you have cinnamon and whipped cream.”

“You’re in luck, Kid, I do. Let’s go.” As Henry ran off toward the kitchen, Emma glanced toward Regina who was still standing very close to the door and tilted her head, signaling her to follow them into the kitchen. Regina hesitated for a moment before allowing Emma to lead the way.

Within minutes, they were all seated on Emma’s cozy couch, curled under a large blanket with steaming mugs of cocoa. Henry had found some random movie on Netflix, and it seemed to be pretty good so far, almost good enough to take Emma’s mind off the lingering thoughts of Killian until a knock sounded on the front door and tore their attention away from the movie. Emma exchanged a slightly confused look with Henry and Regina and got up to answer the door. 

When she opened the door to her parents, huddled closely together at the porch, she briefly wondered why she had any question at all as to who would be at her door. Immediate relief washed over their faces the second they saw Emma.

“Emma,” Snow breathed, hugging her daughter so hard that Emma felt as if she might burst, “I’m sorry, I know you said you wanted to be alone, but we couldn’t stop worrying about you, especially with the storm and all….”

“We wanted to make sure you were okay.” Charming added, joining the group hug.

“I’m fine, guys. Thanks for checking on me. Regina and Henry are here and we’re having a snowstorm party with hot cocoa and a movie. You can join us, if you want.”

“Thank you, Emma,” Snow said, kissing her upper cheek before breaking the hug. 

Emma gave them a small smile, “Do you want some cocoa?”

“Sure, but I can make it. You go sit down, Emma.”

Emma sat back down on the couch next to Henry and pulled the blanket around her shoulders. Snow took the chair next to the couch, and a blanket appeared on her lap. She glanced up in surprise in time to see Regina give her a small smile before looking back at the paused TV screen.

Moments later, Charming reentered the room and handed Snow a steaming mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon before pulling up a different chair so close to Snow’s that it was almost like they were on a couch together. Snow smiled and used her free hand to spread the blanket out so that it covered both of them.

“You guys ready?” Henry asked, holding up the remote. Snow and Charming nodded, and Henry pressed play.

***

Despite the frequent crashes of thunder and the howling wind, the family had become so calm and cozy that by the time the end credits scrolled across the screen, none of them moved immediately to turn off the TV. Finally, Emma picked up the remote from Henry’s lap and allowed silence to fill the room. 

Snow glanced at the clock, “It’s only 11:30. We can stay if you want.”

“You don’t have to. You guys look tired.” Emma replied.

Snow stood up and stretched, “I can wake up. I want to be here for you, Emma.”

“Well, we should probably be heading home. It’s almost midnight,” Regina said, squeezing Henry’s hand. Henry lifted his head from its resting spot on Emma’s shoulder and stood up, ready to leave. 

“Bye, Mom. I had fun. Thanks for letting us come over. Maybe we can go sledding tomorrow or something.”

“Thanks, Kid. It really did help.” Emma stood up and hugged him, “Sledding sounds fun. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Henry said, breaking the embrace to go get his coat from the door. 

Regina started to follow him, but Emma grabbed her wrist and muttered, “Stay?”

Regina looked surprised for a brief moment before smiling sympathetically, “I would, but Henry-"

“I’ll take him,” Charming interrupted, “You three go ahead and have a girls’ night. We’ll have a guys’ night.”

“Thanks,” Emma said, wrapping her arms around her father’s back and feeling his hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair, moments later. 

Regina smiled at him behind Emma’s back, “Then I guess I can stay.”

“Goodnight, Charming,” Snow said, giving him a quick kiss, “Have a good guys’ night.”

“Goodnight, Moms!” Henry called from the door.

“Goodnight, Henry.” Emma and Regina replied. 

Charming gave them one last smile before shutting the door firmly behind them. Emma sat back down in her original spot on the couch, and Snow grabbed the blanket that she and Charming had been sharing earlier and wrapped it around her shoulders before sitting down on the couch next to Emma. Regina followed them and sat at the other end of the couch with her legs curled underneath her. 

Snow pressed play on the movie, which turned out to be some action movie involving several battles with magic and other weapons. After the third magical battle, Emma could’ve sworn she’d learned more from Regina’s comments about how the characters were using magic all wrong than she would in one of their magic lessons. The movie wasn’t bad, but it was quite repetitive, and after a while, Emma began to lose track of the characters and plot as her mind wandered back to Killian. What if he was hurting? What if Nimue and the other Dark Ones were punishing him at this very moment for changing his mind at the last minute? What if he didn’t know how much his sacrifice meant to them? How much he meant?

Time blurred together again, just as it had so many times since Killian’s death. She almost didn’t notice when Regina poofed the remote off Snow’s lap and into her hand before turning off the TV and muttering something about proving to one of the characters how transporting an object was really done. It was then that she realized that Snow had fallen asleep, her head resting on the corner of the couch. Emma, meanwhile, could feel Regina staring at her, so she finally spoke. 

“Do you think he’s okay? I mean, Gold said that before he was resurrected, he was being tortured down there and that it was the most horrible place he’d ever been. What if Killian is being tortured down there? What if he’s suffering?”

Regina’s first thought was that unless Emma had her iPhone hardwired for calls between worlds, it would be rather difficult to get an accurate answer, but Emma looked so exhausted, so heartbroken already that she pushed the thought down and tried to come up with an answer that would give Emma what she needed most right now: hope. 

“I wouldn’t believe everything Gold said about the Underworld, Emma.” She said carefully, “You should know by now he has a way of twisting words. The Underworld is a place for those with unfinished business. Hook lived for centuries, and he died to redeem himself by being the man he wanted to be and the man we needed. He may not have unfinished business.”

“Then where would he go?”

“I don’t know.” Regina replied. She sighed, “A lot of people believe that, in most cases, the departed move on to a better place. Beliefs like that generally have a basis in truth.”

“Do you believe that?” she paused, thinking about it, “He would be there, right? Because he’s changed; he’s a hero now.”

Regina tensed up, almost like she was bracing for an attack, and Emma was confused before she realized that that was exactly what Regina was doing. She thought Emma was going to yell at her again, was going to contrast her against Killian, and Emma hated it. Every time she thought about it, her words to Regina at the lake that night sounded more and more ridiculous in her head, but maybe Regina hadn’t heard the ridiculousness in the raw emotion that had exploded from Emma in that moment. Maybe she heard truth.

“Regina, I’m sorry. About what I said…I really am sorry.” Emma said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, because I want to make sure you know that none of it was true. You’re my best friend, and I promise I don’t regret saving you. Do I feel bad about what happened next, in Camelot, of course, but if there were anything I’d regret for the rest of my life, it would be letting the Darkness take you after you’ve fought so hard to be the person you want to be.”

Regina bit her cheek and stared down at her lap, “I tried, Emma. I really, really tried.”

“I know. Thank you. It means a lot that you never gave up on me.”

“How could I give up on you, Emma? After all you’ve done to help me, how could I not at least try to do the same for you?”

“I don’t know, but I can tell you that there are a lot of people who would have given up on me. And did,” She glanced toward Snow, “But you weren’t one of them, so thank you for that.”


	11. Chapter 11

Emma woke with a start in her bed in Camelot. She could hear the dagger calling to her from down the hall. All she had to do was get out of bed and walk three doors to Regina’s room, where the dagger sat in a box under some unused clothes in one of the dressers. She could sense the dagger, feel it, and she needed it more than anything. It controlled her. It was a part of her. It was her.

“Go ahead, Dearie. What’s holding you back?” Rumple’s voice purred in her ear. He was here, “That dagger is yours, not hers. Go ahead. Take it.”

“But I told her to protect it, protect me from you…. I told her to stop me if I go too far.”

“Really? It isn’t me you need protection from, Dearie. It’s them. Your family. They’re betraying you, Emma. They hate you like this. You’re nothing to them unless you’re their perfect savior, and now…just look at yourself. That’s why you need the dagger. Can’t have Regina standing up and becoming the savior now, can we? After all, it is the only thing you’ve got, all that makes your pathetic life worth it to them.”

“That isn’t true! They love me!”

“Tell yourself what you like, Dearie. You know who you are and what you want, as do I. Right now, you want that dagger, so go get it.”

As if on autopilot, Emma rolled out of bed and tiptoed down the hall towards Regina’s room, the whispers of the dagger getting louder with every step she took. She slowly pushed open the door to Regina’s room, hoping to hell that it wouldn’t creak. Then, she slid open the drawer with the box containing the dagger. She reached out to touch it, but it shocked her and she drew her hand back in surprise and pain. 

The whispers became louder to the point where she felt as if she were going insane. Every Dark One that had ever lived was screaming in unison for her to take it, and suddenly, it all became too much and-

She jerked awake, panicking for a second when her surroundings looked nothing like King Arthur’s palace and her bed felt nothing like a bed because she was in her own house and her head was resting on a sleeping Snow’s shoulder. She glanced at the other end of the couch and saw that Regina had somehow drifted a good two feet away from her during the night and was curled up tightly in the corner of the couch, her arms wrapped around her chest.

It was just a dream.

She readjusted her head on Snow’s shoulder and was ready to go back to sleep since it wasn’t morning yet, but something wasn’t quite right. Emma could still hear the whispers. She pinched her forearm hard to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming, but all she felt was pain. Killian had died to destroy the Darkness, so how was it possible for her to hear the dagger now? 

The answer came to her in an instant. Gold. Somehow, he’d done something. Glancing at her mother and Regina, who were both quite soundly asleep, she slowly got up from the couch, stretched, and paced the room to hear where the noise was loudest. When the noise seemed to be loudest near the door, she glanced back over at Snow and Regina, who were both sleeping soundly, before slipping on her coat and quietly shutting the door behind her. She’d be back before they woke up. She walked down the snow covered street, and at the early hour, Storybrooke almost looked like a winter wonderland. The streets were plowed (had that been built into the curse too?) so she walked along the edge of the road towards Gold’s shop. In there, the dagger was definitely loudest, so she called Gold.

 

***

Regina didn’t know what it was, but something had awakened her. Despite the blanket, her thin black sweater wasn’t doing much to keep her warm. She glanced around the room and quickly noticed Emma was missing. Where was she? Something told Regina she hadn’t just gone to the bathroom. She got up and slowly walked around the house, looking for any sign of Emma. What was going on? She wasn’t stupid enough to go outside in the snow and cold, was she?

After confirming that Emma was not in the house, Regina stared at Snow. She could wake her up, but that would require explaining to her where Emma was and letting Snow take her time to freak out. She stared at Emma’s phone on the coffee table. Texting her was out.

She stared through the windows by the door and dreaded walking outside, but she pulled on her coat anyway and opened the door.

Emma was right on the other side, and she didn’t look happy.

“What’s going on?” asked Regina.

“It’s Gold. He ruined everything.” At Regina’s raised eyebrows, she continued, “He’s the Dark One again because he did some magic crap that programmed Excalibur to transfer the Darkness into this fancy-ass black dagger. Killian died to destroy that Darkness, and Gold took that away from him, he-“

“Not all of it.”

Emma and Regina spun around in surprise upon hearing Snow’s voice. They had forgotten that she was in the room.

“Killian died to save this family from a terrible fate in the Underworld, and, in the process, he was able to redeem himself and become the man he wanted to be. Those are things that no one, not even Gold, can take away from him.”

“Emma, she’s right. Hook’s sacrifice was not in vain.” Regina added. 

“Part of it was, and Gold has to answer for that,” said, but when she saw both Snow and Regina open their mouths to speak, she added, “I’m not saying revenge. All I said was that he should answer for it.”

Snow approached her daughter and held her hand in both her own, “I agree with you, Emma, but now isn’t the time. Look, it’s snowed outside and you know Henry’s going to want to go sledding with all of us,” she glanced between Snow and Regina, “So we are not going to let Rumplestiltskin get us down. Now, what do you think about breakfast? How do pancakes sound?”

Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Emma reached behind her to open it. It was Henry and Charming, “Hey, Mom.” Henry greeted her.

“Morning, Emma. Did you have a good night?”

“Yeah, come on in. We were just about to have some pancakes.”


	12. Chapter 12

Though there was already a foot of snow on the ground, the flakes continued to drift lazily down from the sky. Emma, Snow, and Regina stood off to the side in the large field, watching as Henry and Charming built up walls in preparation for their snowball fight.

Snow watched the happiness on her grandson and husband’s faces and sighed quietly, “Don’t you wish it could be like this all the time? We’ve spent years going from crisis to crisis to crisis, and sometimes it seems like we’re almost doing it all over again…missing each other’s lives.”

“More like saving them,” replied Regina, “And with Gold as some Master Dark One, it’ll only be a matter of time.”

“Killian told me something,” Emma said quietly, and Regina and Snow looked at her suddenly, “Around the time we started…dating, he said that there was always going to be some crisis, but that if I didn’t start living my life between them and despite them, I’d miss it all.”

“Emma’s right, Regina. Let’s forget about Gold for now and enjoy this, enjoy each other, our family and how far we’ve come. If we act like there will never be another crisis, maybe one day we’ll be right.”

Regina smiled.

“Hey, Moms! I’m beating Grandpa! Here’s your chance to join the winning team!” called Henry, ducking behind a snow wall as Charming sent two big snowballs his way.  
Emma and Regina smiled at each other and ran towards Henry’s snow wall, picking up snowballs to defend themselves.

“Mary Margaret, get over here!” Called Charming, “It’s three against one right now! You can’t make me lose this way.”

Snow joined Charming and before they knew it, the entire family was engaged in a competitive snowball fight. Gold-and anything he might have planned-could wait. For now, the only thing on Emma’s mind was making sure that she, Henry, and Regina won the snowball fight against her parents, who were much better snowball-fighters than she imagined them to be. With or without Killian, things were going to turn out okay, because happy endings weren’t always what they thought they would be. She held him close in her heart and in her memories, holding onto the knowledge that he would never want her to shatter into grief without him, that he would want her to keep living her life despite the crisis. One day, that might even be the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and for the kudos and comments! I hope you enjoyed the story! Any additional feedback or comments would still be greatly appreciated :)


End file.
